Whoa, hair!

My voice has finally become noticeably lower. Alex pointed this out to me during the first day of work, but now when I speak I don't have to make an effort to make it go down. Travis confirmed my low voice after I picked up the Deathly Hallows on Friday night/Saturday morning. It's funny cause for the folks I haven't outed myself to I have to make an effort to sound like female.

I feel like I'm turning into a werewolf or a combination of Kenny (body hair-wise) and Dad (veins sicking out of my tanned hands, dandruff, and voice-wise) except with a little pot-belly. (It's weird having love handles when you never had them before) I'm trying to combat the fat redistribution with weights and walking more often. Also trying to eat more fruit, protein, fiber and veggies. I'm developing forearms. The hair on the upper knuckles of my hands are turning darker and wiry. My pubic hair is starting to head north towards my navel and spreading south along the insides of my upper thighs. My kneecaps are almost completely covered with brown fur. It's almost like I'm growing a winter coat. Luckily I won't get any chest or back hair (it's not in my genes) I think my face is starting to change a bit too. Not much as changed on the facial hair front. Shot #8 is tomorrow.

I am really grateful to Alex for helping me get a job. My boss has been awesome calling me Jacob and using the right pronouns in large part to Alex doing both from the get go. It's been a really good experience so far.

I might try to post some pics of the physical changes I've experienced. (nothing too graphic of course)

Changes

Getting hair on the back of my legs and kneecaps. The veins on top of my hands have grown and are sticking out more. The fat around my knees has thinned out some so now my legs are becoming more defined. I feel like the hair on my head is thinning out too (unfortunately). The last two times I got a haircut I haven't asked for my hair to be thinned because I haven't needed too.

I've been trying to lift weights every other day and walk about more. I got my blood work results back and everything cholesterol-wise is better then before T which is wonderful. But I've gotta keep track of all that.

I had a long talk with SKimmel about how different it feels to take on a male social role. I didn't feel it so much around Amy, but around everyone else in the family. Trying to learn what it means to be a son or little brother because whether I wanted to acknowledge it at first or not my family is beginning to treat me differently. It's a step in the right direction, but sometimes I feel frustrated that I should be treated differently then I was as female.

Since starting T I don't pass as often, and I've been wondering why that is. It may because I'm growing into my body and while everything feels more comfortable I don't really feel at home yet. Physiological ways I've reacted to certain situations have surprised me. Bodily movement is different then a few months ago. My always somewhat hairy upper lip has gotten darker and thicker showing the beginning signs of a mustache. My five pound dumbbells feel like one pound. And it is true that some days you wake up and some marker of femininity has been erased from your face. Something you didn't notice before. I think I may have eased into passing as male easily before because while my body didn't feel in line with my gender identity, I knew how to work it to make it act and be read as masculine. Trying to readjust constantly is a lot of work when you're also trying to pass.