Changes

Getting hair on the back of my legs and kneecaps. The veins on top of my hands have grown and are sticking out more. The fat around my knees has thinned out some so now my legs are becoming more defined. I feel like the hair on my head is thinning out too (unfortunately). The last two times I got a haircut I haven't asked for my hair to be thinned because I haven't needed too.

I've been trying to lift weights every other day and walk about more. I got my blood work results back and everything cholesterol-wise is better then before T which is wonderful. But I've gotta keep track of all that.

I had a long talk with SKimmel about how different it feels to take on a male social role. I didn't feel it so much around Amy, but around everyone else in the family. Trying to learn what it means to be a son or little brother because whether I wanted to acknowledge it at first or not my family is beginning to treat me differently. It's a step in the right direction, but sometimes I feel frustrated that I should be treated differently then I was as female.

Since starting T I don't pass as often, and I've been wondering why that is. It may because I'm growing into my body and while everything feels more comfortable I don't really feel at home yet. Physiological ways I've reacted to certain situations have surprised me. Bodily movement is different then a few months ago. My always somewhat hairy upper lip has gotten darker and thicker showing the beginning signs of a mustache. My five pound dumbbells feel like one pound. And it is true that some days you wake up and some marker of femininity has been erased from your face. Something you didn't notice before. I think I may have eased into passing as male easily before because while my body didn't feel in line with my gender identity, I knew how to work it to make it act and be read as masculine. Trying to readjust constantly is a lot of work when you're also trying to pass.